There is definitely a grace for fasting here on the IHOPKC mission base. A lifestyle of worship, prayer and fasting unto Jesus, our Bridegroom King, is the foundation of everything that goes on here. Since arriving in KC I've begun to somewhat understand that truth, but I had yet to receive a Holy Spirit heart revelation.
My main motivator for coming to IHOPKC was to grow in deeper relationship with Jesus. I longed for heart knowledge, not just head knowledge. So as the three days began I wrote in my journal, 'Abba, may I ask? Please, Holy Spirit, help me understand the Bridegroom fast. Help me, Holy Spirit, to know the Bridegroom and to meet Him during this time of fasting.' And then I wrote 'Everything stops for the Bridegroom when He comes.'
On Monday of the fast I was in the prayer room for several hours, even though Monday is Simeon Saturday for us. I wanted to know the Bridegroom, and spent time looking up scriptures that pertained to Jesus as Bridegroom. There are several foundational scriptures referred to often at IHOPKC concerning Jesus as Bridegroom: one is from Matthew 9, where Jesus talks about the friends of the Bridegroom and fasting; another is in John 3 when John the Baptist refers to Jesus as the Bridegroom, with John being the friend of the Bridegroom.
On Tuesday of the GBF, the Holy Spirit led me to Hosea 2:19, 20:
- I will betroth you to Me forever; yes, I will betroth you to Me in righteousness and justice, in lovingkindness and mercy; I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness, and you shall know the Lord.
Wednesday was the last day of the fast, and I continued to meditate and reflect on Hosea and the different ways in which the Bridegroom calls His Bride: in righteousness, justice, lovingkindness, mercy, and in faithfulness.
Spending time in the prayer room on Wednesday, I noticed a couple sitting in front of me, only two rows ahead of me. As I continued to read in Hosea, I found myself watching these two, caught up in how much they obviously cared for each other. I could tell by the way they leaned into one another with shoulders touching; how they looked at one another; just their overall body language. I couldn't see if they were wearing wedding rings, but it didn't matter because their love and affection for one another was plain to see.
At one point the woman got up and left the prayer room. When she returned a few minutes later, as she was stepping into the row to take her seat, she looked at the man with such affection that it overwhelmed me. After she sat down she draped her arm on his shoulder and he leaned over and kissed it.
It was at that moment that the Bridegroom began to speak to my heart as memories came flooding in. "Do you remember how it felt when you were at the place where they are now? Do you remember the feelings of love and affection you had for your husband when you were dating him, how special you felt, how loved? Well, those are the same feelings of love and affection I have for you!"
You see, I have a relationship with Jesus and I know I'm saved. Yet both here at IHOPKC and back home at Changepoint Church people talk about intimacy with Jesus, of feeling His love. Certainly not in a sexual way, but with a heart knowledge that they know that they know they are loved. I had come to Kansas City to search out the deeper things of the Spirit; to both know and feel the love of Jesus. That was the desire of my heart, and now the Bridegroom was revealing that very thing to me!
As the revelation of His Bridegroom love dropped into my spirit, I again read the two verses from Hosea that opened up this truth to me. The Bridegroom tells His beloved that she is betrothed to Him in, among other virtues, faithfulness. And I thought again of the verse in Ephesians that tells me I was chosen before the foundation of the world to be holy and blameless in Him in love.
The faithfulness promise is what sealed the truth of the revelation in my heart. Having been married and divorced twice, I had truly not known faithfulness, and so relating to the Bridegroom on a heart level was something I did not know nor could I do. Yet the revealed truth to me was that He chose me before the foundation of the world, and has been faithful to me ever since, in spite of me! While I was yet in sin, Christ died for me, His betrothed!
Thanks be to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, the Bridegroom King, that through His Holy Spirit He renews our minds and speaks these truths directly to our hearts!
"Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you."
Jeremiah 31:3
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