The Narrow Road

or

What I Learned From God While Driving the Speed Limit

Matthew 7:13 “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. 14 But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.

Now before I start, I need to make a disclaimer. What I have to share is not an indictment of anyone here, it is only this one believer's teaching from Holy Spirit as the result of a question I asked and the challenge laid down by Him.

It began this past New Year's Eve, when I was reflecting on how many years previously I had made New Year's resolutions, only to give up on them after a few days or weeks. I had pretty much sworn off resolutions a long time ago. But I was thinking of the clean slate a new year presented, and I was thinking of Anna's House, and my passion for starting a house of prayer in our area. I was wondering if 2015 would be the year that the spark would be ignited in me again. So I brought it to Holy Spirit in the form of a (mostly) rhetorical question: "Holy Spirit, I don't do New Year's resolutions anymore, but is there anything that You want to work in me in 2015?" 

Now I was really half asking, but He wasn't half answering, for sure! No sooner had I presented the question, then I heard in my spirit, "Yes, there are three things that I want you to work on in 2015: 1) allow people to get close to you; 2) stop trying to beat yellow lights; and 3) drive the speed limit." Ouch!

I couldn't argue with any of them, because for each one, it was an area that I had been ignoring Holy Spirit's gentle promptings to do something about.

Letting people get closer to me, revealing more of myself to others, is an area in which I struggle with constantly. Not in an overt way, but my fears and failures, deep-down dreams, these I keep to myself. Often-times I'll blurt out parts of my life to other who are practically strangers, which is really weird. But when faced with opening myself up to friends, or letting people bring their lives into mine, I pull up the welcome mat. That change is still in the development stage.

Concerning #2: When my grandkids were little, my son-in-law had a phrase that he would say while he was driving in the car with them. When the car would come to a traffic light that was in the process of changing from green to yellow to red, he would ask them "What does green mean?" and they would answer "Go fast!" Then he would ask "What does yellow mean?" and they would shout "Go faster!" It was cute, and always evoked peals of laughter from those in the car. Now just so you don't think he was actually advocating going 'faster', my son-in-law drives for a living, and he is one of the most cautious drivers that I know. But the issue for me with yellow lights is one that I have to assume many others have, because I see others do what I often do, see a light turn yellow and press on the gas to get through before it turns red. Why? What's the mindset behind it? Jesus told us that the first shall be last, yet so many will run a red light so as not to be last, or allow others to seem to have the advantage over us. I'm working on this one also, but I still have not gained the upper hand on it.

Ahhhh, and now we get to #3: "Drive the speed limit." I know that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. But I have been convicted many times for not driving according to the traffic laws of New York State. And for me, the conviction came not so much in that I was breaking the law by driving 60 mph in a 45 mph zone, but that I didn't believe that the speed limit signs really meant what they said. After all, no one drove the speed limit, or so it seemed. And this is what I heard in my spirit, "Deep down, you want to believe the truths of God's word, but you don't always believe God means what He says either, as it applies to you and your relationship with Him." 

I had no argument for that statement, because I knew it was true. Growing up, promises were made to me that were not kept. Because of it, I learned not to take people at their word. I thought for sure that I had grown past that mindset. After all, I'm in my mid-60's, and I've seen God work miracles in my own life, in the lives of those I care about, and in the world arena in and out of a church setting. I've had revelations of His love that blew my socks off, yet when the split second choice of sharing Him comes up, many times I struggle with presenting the truth of who He is to others.

Holy Spirit showed me that the speed limit lessons are in the context of being in leadership in a house of prayer, but also have a much broader application to my life in general. He's been showing me, through my experiences on the road, that in any leadership situation, both in and out of the church, there are all different kinds of people that a leader will encounter. Some people will want to run ahead of you, challenging the speed at which you are moving, some may not really believe the vision that is being presented, some will have your back no matter what, some will see the road ahead as open and clear and push you to do things that you may not want to do. Some may talk a good talk, but when given the opportunity step up, they hang back and leave you to do it. And these are just a few examples of leadership and life challenges that I have mentioned.

Take a ride with me now, down a familiar and well-known road that winds through our part of Dutchess County. Close your eyes and picture yourself behind the wheel of your car, driving west out Route 44 from Pleasant Valley into the City of Poughkeepsie, past Adams, past KMart, onto the arterial, and out to Route 9. The speed limit on that stretch of road, approximately 5 miles, is 40 mph. Yes, 40 mph along the whole stretch of road from PV to PK, and once on the arterial, the mph drops to 30. And yet traffic averages 50-60 mph morning, noon, and night. I know, because I drive it a minimum of 5 days a week on my way to and from my school job in Eastern Dutchess County.

So I began driving the speed limit on the very first day of 2015. It was hard, and it continues to be hard. But Holy Spirit has never left me to figure out the lessons of the narrow road alone. These are some of the observations I've made as I've gone through these last five months:

• The signs mean what they say. And I know that, because God means what He says. The bible tells us let God be true and every man a liar. It's not that anyone has come up to me to tell me that 45 mph means 45 mph, nor have I ever been pulled over and given an atta-girl for driving the correct speed. In my estimation, almost 90% of those who travel the roadways I drive on drive above the speed limit. I've only once or twice seen a sheriff or trooper pull over a car going faster than what the signs say, and it is an assumption on my part that the reason is for speeding, since those vehicles could just as easily have been pulled over for a reason outside of speeding. Driving the speed limit is definitely driving the narrow road, even if it's a four lane highway.

• As a driver, it's hard to go against the tide of popular belief that it's acceptable to drive above the speed limit. Picture yourself driving 40 mph the whole stretch of Route 44. Imagine that you're driving it at 6:30 in the morning, just as the commuters are rushing to get their DD or McD's coffee and then get to work on time. The road ahead is wide open, with no one in front of you, there is a line of cars in back of you, and the car immediately behind you is on your bumper trying to push you along. Amazing pressure to not do what the signs say, for sure.  'But be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.' Yielding to the popular mindsets of this world, be it those on the road, or any other acceptable mindset that does not conform to God's word, will cause us to travel the 'wide road' of worldly thinking, justifying that doing according to what 'everyone else' does makes it OK. 

• What about tacit approval from those in authority to break the law? Taconic Parkway and Anna May

• My self-image gets challenged daily. The stigma of being that little old gray-haired lady, driving the speed limit while looking over the top of her steering wheel ignoring the 10 cars lined up behind her, is often overwhelming. Pride screams "That's not who I am!", and the urge to defend my position by going faster than the posted signs is strong. How often, in our daily comings and goings, might we be wrongly accused, misunderstood for much more than doing what's right by traveling the speed limit.  Romans 8:31 & 33 What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us 33 Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 

• Within the first few weeks of my new driving adventure, I was traveling to school along an open stretch of road. As I looked in my review mirror, I saw a car about a quarter mile behind me that had several more cars behind it. Since I was driving the speed limit, I kept checking for the line of cars to come up quickly behind me. It took me a few minutes to realize that the person leading the line of cars was also driving the speed limit. Holy Spirit showed me that there would always be someone who would be there to run interference for me, to cover my back so to speak, and keep the pressures of others wanting to do life their way at bay.

• There have been times when there has been a vehicle right on my rear bumper as I'm driving along a stretch of road with a double yellow line. More than once the other driver has passed me on those double yellow lines, which always surprises and amazes me, since that is a blatant breaking of the law. There are other times when, upon getting to a stretch of road where passing is OK, that I think "OK now you can pass me", but the driver on my bumper remains there, choosing not to pass, but continuing to ride my bumper. There will be the people, Holy Spirit showed me, that want to move forward faster than the situation or circumstances allow, but do not want to accept the responsibility, yet will continue to put pressure on the leader to do so. It's been at those times that I've flipped up my rearview mirror, blocking out the driver behind me, and just kept my eyes on the road ahead, ignoring the pressure of doing what was wrong because of someone else’s noise. The narrow road can sometimes feel like a really tight squeeze.

• At other times driving the speed limit while others are pressuring me to go faster becomes too much, and I pull over and let others go around me. I'm reminded then that leading by example doesn't always necessarily work in the short term, and sometimes I just have to let people do their own thing and trust God to deal with the consequences of their actions. And gloating when I get a bit further up the road and find that the offender has been pulled over by a trooper is not an option.

• One thing I discovered that surprised me was that once I began to drive the speed limit, I began to be able tell when I was going above it without even looking at the speedometer. And I also really enjoy those times when I can legally go faster. The stretch of Route 44 from Poughkeepsie to several miles east of Pleasant Valley has a posted speed of 40, then 30, then 45 mph. Once east of PV, the speed moves up to 55 mph, and remains that way most of the remainder of my trip, except for one short stretch just before I get to my destination. I am still amazed at how exhilarating 55 miles per hour can feel! And it's guilt free! Correlate this with being in the word of God, and prayer, on a regular basis. How much easier is life when we are filled with His word and we have daily relationship with Him through prayer! It’s easier to hear His gentle promptings that tell us “This is the way, walk ye in it.”

• This past Saturday morning I was traveling north on Route 9G to attend our high school's championship baseball game, which was being played in Saugerties. As I drove beyond Tivoli, I ended up behind a car that was following the posted speed limits. As many times, almost daily, that I've felt the pressure of the drivers behind me while I drove the speed limit, for some reason I felt that same pressure of annoyance towards the driver in front of me. I was reminded then that the old man can rear up at any time, but we are not to give place to him, since we are new creatures in Christ, with the old having passed away and all things become new. It turned my frustration into gratitude for the new creature that I am.

• The most recent revelation as I've traveled this speed limit journey, is the current one I'm learning about grace. Right from the start I've been traveling the highways and byways under cruise control. Now I've always used cruise control on long trips on the interstate roadways, but I was not in the habit of using it while traveling the 40 mph roadways of Dutchess County. I found that using cruise control helps keep me on track, even though I've gotten accustomed to what 40, 45, and even 55 mph feels like while driving. But my cruise control is not that exact, and most times as I use it going downhill it adds 5 mph to the speed of my car. I would then feel guilty about exceeding the speed limit, even by a few miles per hour, kind of like living under the law (if you break one, you've pretty much broken them all). But then, only within the last few weeks, Holy Spirit has begun to speak to me during these times about God's free and perfect gift of grace. How awesome! It is for freedom that we have been set free! But it also continues to be a deep lesson about that freedom. There have been many a day when I was tired, tired of my commute, tired of people riding my bumper, tired of speed limits and the speed restraints of open roads I couldn't fly down. Walking in grace has caused me at times to want to justify stopping doing what I knew was right, and using grace as an excuse. But God is faithful, and when I go into that mode, I always hear the Apostle Paul saying, from Rom. 6:1  , "What shall we say then, shall we continue to sin so that grace may abound?" The narrow road is just that, narrow. Jesus was not making it up when He gave us His admonition. The walk, or drive, is not always easy, but the narrow road has benefits both now and in eternity.

Father, I’m reminded of a new born infant. In the hospital the baby is wrapped tightly in a blanket, which brings comfort and assurance. I thank you for the narrow road, for Your word that wraps around us and keeps us safe from harm. I thank You for Your promise to never leave us or abandon us on the narrow road, and the enduring promise of eternity in Your Presence. Amen